Along that note I have had some really neat experiences with my scripture studies lately. I used to be less consistent about reading the Book of Mormon and Bible every day but lately I have been doing great and there was an "ah-ha" moment. I love kids, I have always loved playing with kids and have looked forward to being a mom since I was in Kindergarten and they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Because of that mentality, being a mom is easier in some ways for me than others (not saying I am great or perfect at it) but that my mind works in creating cool play experiences for me and D. I also dont mind 90% of the time that everything takes me hours longer to do the simplest tasks. Well, as much as I love my boys come 3:00 sometimes 5:00 or on really bad days 10:00 am :) I am done and feel like I can't give any more without just losing it and being crazy mom.
But, I have realized that on the days I read my scriptures my days go better. Now, I have noticed that before and that is why I have been reading my scriptures for years, but when I read my scriptures in the morning when that afternoon "I'm done" phase hits I navigate it better. I have learned that if I stop and say a sincere prayer asking for help the Lord takes over and I get through the day not on my strength but His.
That makes sense to me (the whole his Grace thing is real). On the flip side we are all capable competent people doing things we are good at or hopefully for most of us, what we want to be doing and because of what we are doing, it is easy to rely on ourselves.
We studied _____ in school and became a ______. Because we work in these professions we can and should rely on ourselves and use what we have learned to contribute to work, society, the world, etc... but what about those hard days, or those hard assignments, or those hard times? Those times are when, if we are in the habit of keeping God in our lives he can help out (not to say he isn't always there or wanting us to turn back just if we are more consistent it makes it a little less rough or extreme of a path back).
For me, I need his help every single day.
I love that I can't do it all.
I also love that I CAN do a lot of it, most of the time.
I am excited for the years ahead, for the changes and challenges that will push me in ways I never thought possible but I am also grateful for the knowledge that "With the strength of the Lord, I can do hard things."
Sometimes those hard things will feel like a constant battle that has gone on for months or years and for those other hard things that only last for the few hours at the end of the day when I want to give up, it doesn't matter. Either way the solution is clear and found in one of my favorite scriptures I routinely tell myself every night.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding, in ALL thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path." Proverbs 3:5
So here is to a new day that I know will be a struggle (sick kids + tired/getting sick mommy + needing to get creative about meals) but it will be ok, it is going to take work, but will be worth it. Because these boys are worth it and because I am worth it. God wants my boys to succeed and he also wants me to succeed-he just asks for us to turn to him.
Here are some pictures from the lake.